Hey Baby, Here's That Roleplay You Wanted

She shrugs, smiling slightly. "Maybe."

*I sigh, shaking my head.* "So, what brings you around this area?"

She is a little puzzled by his response to her statement but does not comment. She just looks at him before quickly looking away again. "Long story." She says shortly, her cold tone returning. It was obviously a topic she often avoided and disliked talking about.

*I shrug.* "No good story is short. And I've got nowhere to be."

She stays silent, not looking at him. She never told anyone her story, and definitely not her past. Her normal response would have shut anyone up for good, but something about him made her consider telling. She slowly turned her gaze toward him and stopped when she noticed his tattoo. She looked at it for a moment before looking away again. Suddenly, she began to feel self conscious and did not dare look up.

"Alright. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. I get it. But, since we're here, and we have time to kill, you could always listen."

She didn't say anything but she looked at him which was enough for anyone to know that she would.

*I sigh deeply, rubbing my face.* "Now, the question is, which story? Shall I start light, or get right into it?"

She lowered her gaze to the tattoo again. "Start there."

*I chuckle.* "Well, how do I even start to explain this? Do you know what it means?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Should I?"

*I chuckle.* "No, many people don't. It's one of those things that if you know about it, you know all about it. This tattoo is a symbol of my commitment to a straightedge lifestyle. Basically, I don't do drugs or drink at all, and I won't ever. As for why, well, there's the story. I've never really liked alcohol at all, and drugs have never had any appeal to me, but there is more to it. To sum it up, everyone I've ever loved has been hurt by alcohol. My father was an alcoholic, and my childhood was lived in fear of him, and he made life hard for our whole family. He put us all through a lot. Then there was one of my best friends. I owe her so much for being there for me. And a few years ago I learned that she got drunk at a party, and was too incapacitated to defend herself from being molested. The first girl I fell in love with, she got drunk one time, and she still doesn't know if she was raped or not. It haunts her, and I've seen how much it hurts her. The second girl I loved lived with an alcoholic mother. She was worried sick about her mom every night, and feared for her safety. With everything else that girl had going on in life, her mom made things hell. And lastly, my most recent ex-girlfriend had an ex-alcolholic father who made her life hell. Funny thing is, she was basically an alcoholic herself. And she ended up getting wasted one day, calling up her ex-boyfriend, telling him she loved him, then she screwed some other guy, and told me she never loved me. All in the same day. All in all, I've seen alcohol wreak havoc on lives, and never do a bit of good." *I look down to my tattoo.* "So, I'll never touch the shit. It's just not for me."

She was silent before muttering, "It helped me..."

"I'd be genuinely surprised if you could convince me it did, to be honest."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, knowing her story was going to have to be told. "Alright. When I was 13, I watched my parents die right in front of me. Before that, I was happy and normal. My grades were perfect and I was so excited to start high school. Well...after being in a coma for 8 months, I grew up real fast. I was an orphan. I couldn't stand the pity people always gave me so I ran from the foster home and never stopped. I tried attending school, but my grades dropped and I became depressed. I started dating one the "stoners" but he was abusive. I was desperate for attention and didn't care. I fucked my life up pretty badly that year. I was only 14. The next year, I dropped out of school and moved again. My boyfriend committed suicide which ultimately saved me I believe." She paused and looked down at the water again. "At this point, I was 15, depressed, alone, with no where to go. That's when I turned to alcohol. It took the edge away, it made me feel better, it gave me confidence. I moved again and gave myself a new look. I had known I was pretty before but I wanted to make impressions. By the time I was 16, I had changed my entire outlook on life. I saw it as time to have fun and be yourself. I went through more boys than I can count but nothing serious. When 17 rolled around, I was notorious as..." she blushed a little. "The slut. So I moved again. By now I was 18 and had a little more sense. I stopped boosting my confidence with guys and began to be over confident in myself. Hence, the sarcasm, the cold shoulder, of course, my past haunted me and I couldn't change that. After I felt good about myself, I moved again, landing here. As you can see, I have picked myself up and am not going down."

*I nod my head, looking out over the water.* "That's the most important thing in my opinion. It doesn't matter how you got here, as long as you remember where you've been, and know where you wanna go. Respect yourself, respect life, and respect others. But that's the super-positive, life-loving side of me." *I chuckle.*

She doesn't say anything for a long time. "We're just two freaks with crazy pasts and fucked up lives." Her outer confidence and uncaring personality starts to break down. She hides her face and tries to control herself but can't.

*I put my arm around you, holding you gently.* "Yeah, yeah we are. And you know what? We're stronger for it."

Overwhelming memories explode inside her and she says "You, maybe." She shrugs off his arm and quickly gets up and runs into the surrounding greenery before losing all control. It starts out as sadness and self-pity before quickly turning into boiling anger. She finally leans against a large tree, crying softly.

*Slowly I walk over near you, following the sound of your tears. I lean against a nearby tree, watching you silently.*

She sensed his presence and wiped her tears before saying menacingly. "Go. Away."

*I shrug.* "You can stay here all alone as long as you want. Once you're done, I'm gonna be here. You're not changing that. So take your time. Once you're ready to talk again, lemme know."

She turned on him, her true self coming through for the first time since her parents died. "Don't you get it?? My entire identity is fake. My confidence doesn't exist and my sarcasm only hides my emotions. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate everything around me. I hate being alone but I constantly am. I haven't felt loved or appreciated since I was 13. That's 6 years of my life wasted. gone. HATED." She looks at him in the eyes. "I should have died with my parents." At that, she collapsed into a sitting position against the tree, unable to look up due to her humiliation.

*I watch you with concern as you blow up at me, not even flinching.* "Is that what you're telling yourself? Sounds familiar. The exact kind of lies I used to tell myself. Know what I think? I think that if you truly believed that, in your heart, you wouldn't be here. The fact that you can survive through all of that shit? That counts for something."

She just shakes her head, still not looking up. She's silent for a few moments before talking quietly to the ground. "The reason I have lived through this is because my parents believed I would become this successful, amazing person. I tried. I tried so hard, but how can I look at life and be happy when I have nothing left? All I want is to make my parents happy, I want to be happy. You want to know the truth? I am a kind and loving person but no one will take the time to see that. Over the years, my hatred grew. My sarcasm was just the absence of care and of thought. Sure, my confidence was real. I felt powerful. But that's not what I WANT." By now, she had calmed down and she was talking slowly and calmly but hadn't looked up. Now, she does and right at him. She doesn't say anything for a long time. "I want a normal life. I want to feel loved and I want to love."