Omegle Hilarity

Step 1. Go to http://www.omegle.com/

Step 2. Have a funny conversation

Step 3. Post results

Step 4. ???

Step 5. Profit

Oh God...do you realize what you've done?

GENIOUS

Rokku Hizori wrote:

Oh God...do you realize what you've done?

I do have a good idea about what I've done, yes.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: m


You: Knock knock


Stranger: whos there


You: Doctor.


Stranger: doctor who


You: Nailed it.


Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: hi


You: Well, here we are again.


Stranger: what?


You: It's always SUCH a pleasure.


Stranger: pleasure for what?


You: Remember when you tried to kill me twice?


Stranger: no..


You: Oh, how we laughed and laughed.


You: Except I wasn't laughing.


Stranger: umm....


You: Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice.


Stranger: um im sorry


You: You want your freedom? Take it. That's what I'm counting on.


Stranger: freedom from what?


You: I used to want you dead, but now I only want you gone.


Stranger: what are you talking about?


You: Congratulations, you've endured to the end of the string of lyrics that I remember as being right. If you'll wait right here, I'll link you to the song I was quoting.


You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ


Stranger: lol i really thought i did something for a second there


Your conversational partner has disconnected.

For full effect, you should click on the link.

+1 Internet if you know the song I was quoting already.

Internet skill is now OVER 9000! Im sorry, I had to.

Anywho,

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hello
You: Make me laugh
Stranger: uhh is your refridgerator running
You: Yeah
Stranger: then you better go catch it
Stranger: boom cha
You: Haha...ha
You: That was lame.
You have disconnected.

I can top that
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey

Stranger: asl

You: Never gonna give you up

You: never gonna let you down

Stranger: RICK

You: Damn right

Stranger: Oh yes.

You: You know the rules and so do IIIII

Your conversational partner has disconnected

Attempt 2 by posting a "question"

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss:
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!Stranger 1: damn

Stranger 1: we just got rickrolled

Stranger 1 has disconnected

I don't think that really qualifies as rickrolling...

Well, most people do not click links on that site, and so one has to deliver the message. But for 3 seconds of pure boredom and your link its not THAT bad. Damn you, cant stop listening to that song ;D

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hello.
Stranger: how are you
You: I'm bored. How 'bout you?
Stranger: same aha
You: I guess that's what drives us to Omegle.
Stranger: yeah ahaah
You: So what do you like to do?
Stranger: um, sleep. listen to music.chill haha. im a boring kind of peson i guess
You: What kind of music do you listen to?
Stranger: um, ed sheeran, taylor swift. one direction. ludaciris. usher. david guetta. nicki minaj
Stranger: and more aha
You: I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but...
You have disconnected.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!



Question to discuss:

If you had to choose one person to make all media decisions in all things everywhere, would you choose Steven Moffat or Gabe Newell?

Stranger 1: Gabe, for sure.
Stranger 2: But would he fit on the camera?
Stranger 1: I don't know who he is.
Stranger 1: So I cannot answer that question.
Stranger 2: Well, if you don't disconnect in a hurry, I can give you a rundown on who he is.
Stranger 1: Sure.
Stranger 1: Go ahead.
Stranger 2: He's the CEO of a video game company (Valve) who's basically a really nice guy and a good employer to have. He's also a bit of a fatass.
Stranger 1: How the fuck do you actually even know that, though?
Stranger 1: I bet you're a nerd.
Stranger 1: Come on, you must be.
Stranger 1: And I mean absolute no offence at all.
Stranger 2: I am a gamer, true.
Stranger 1: I'm a gamer, but I don't know that shit.
Stranger 2: No? Well, have you ever played Half-life, Portal or Left 4 Dead?
Stranger 1: Portal 2.
Stranger 1: I played that with a friend online.
Stranger 1: It was fucking hilarious.
Stranger 1: I'd always put the portal in the wrong place so he would die.
Stranger 2: I'd probably call you a psychopath if I didn't know how satisfying that is. Well, anyway, that's Valve stuff. Also, do you use Steam to buy games?
Stranger 1: Nono. I'm an Xbox player you see.
Stranger 2: Well, that certainly explains why you wouldn't know about him, he's more of a celebrity among pc gamers.
Stranger 1: CELEBRITY?
Stranger 1: Damn, you PC nerds are going all out these days, huh.
Stranger 2: Who do you consider to be a celebrity?
Stranger 1: Um.
Stranger 1: I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF ANY CELEBRITIES.
Stranger 1: But, like, actors, football players, singers, you know.
Stranger 2: So, people who are known to be good at the things they do?
Stranger 1: HM.
Stranger 1: Good point.
Stranger 1: WELL...
Stranger 1: Justin Beiber?
Stranger 2: ...People who get positive feedback from a lot of people for the things they do, regardless of the quality of those things?
Stranger 1: Okay, you win.
Stranger 1: NOW I MUST GO AND MAKE MY BOYFRIEND A SANDWICH.
Stranger 1 has disconnected

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Out of anybody in the world, who would you choose if you could elect the next president with just your vote?
Stranger 1: me
Stranger 2: def you
Stranger 1: I would go on a fucking anti corruption thing
Stranger 1: kick out most of congress senate and what not
Stranger 1: and more science
Stranger 2: lovely
Stranger 2 has disconnected



Stranger 1 was clearly a genius.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Act now and YOU can save Gotham!
Stranger 1: NO
Stranger 1: JOKER 5EVR
Stranger 2: oooh oooh can i help you??
Stranger 1: les gooooo
Stranger 2: yes!!!
Stranger 1: that nigga got some mad skills
Stranger 2: awww yeah!
Stranger 1: can u believe im a girl
Stranger 1: wow
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: lol me too
Stranger 1: yay
Stranger 1: ok bye now lol
Stranger 1 has disconnected


I helped 2 evil souls connect in a femme-bond.
Let's hope they don't go paint themselves up like the Joker and attack.

This is me, attempting to recruit for new members.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You and the stranger both like roleplay.
You: Hi there
Stranger: hey
You: So, are you into the writing type of roleplay or the bedroom kind?
Stranger: whatever you want to do
You: Well, that answers that question..
You: Sorry, I'm recruiting for a forum roleplaying site, not looking to cyberfuck :-)
Stranger has disconnected.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You and the stranger both like roleplay.
Stranger is using Omegle's mobile Web site (omegle.com on a phone or tablet)
Stranger: asl
You: Hi there! And no thanks! Looking for writers, not teenagers looking to get off
Stranger: really loking for teenager thsn too you have tell male or female
Stranger: asl m 21
You: I'm not sure what you were trying to say there.. Buuuut congratulations on being old enough to drink?
You: Do you enjoy writing or what?
Stranger: kid
You: Kid? No, I'm not a kid. I have kids, if that's what you mean.
Stranger: i like writing but not on omegle you are male I guess now
You: I never said my gender, and you are giving me a headache because reading what you type kills my brain. Bye!
You have disconnected.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You and the stranger both like roleplaying.
Stranger: (I’m looking for a horny girl 17-19 to partake in a role-play with. MUST HAVE good spelling, grammar and uses speech quotes! It’s the year 2034 and instead of having lower class families support their children they sell them to be sex slaves. I just arrived in one of the stores that sells young men for pets to daughters of the richer populace. I’m 17 year old Alex Green. He is 6’3”, tan, muscular, short brown hair, hazel eyes with green and gold flecks and a tattoo of a chain around his left bicep. Here’s a character picture, NOT ME!: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mavrqaIfT21r5wogmo1_500.jpg . You walk into a reception area and an older lady is behind a clean and polished counter, paperwork all around her and when she sees you she smiles. “Welcome to ‘Ladies Choice’, how may I be of service to you?” She asks. The room is small and clean, some artwork on the walls but otherwise it’s a white and grey color scheme, more of a doctor’s office feel than one that sells teen guys for sex. If you would like to participate please leave a character name, description and continue with the next line.)
You: That's a pretty good setup. Nice addition with the picture, decent description too. How would you like to roleplay on a forum site instead of with pervy anon people? I'm recruiting for a fairly new site and we'd love to have new members :-) It's not a sex site, though, so please be aware of that!
Stranger: I just find this easier. Would you mind role-playing on here?
You: Sorry, I might if I had time, but I'm into more in-depth roleplays that don't center around sex slaves. I'm looking for members, not a quickie xD
Stranger: Haha, well then I wish you good luck on your searches for recruits.
You: Thanks!
You have disconnected.

Just a fraction of what I got while fishing xD

One of my favorite conversations I've ever had on Omegle. Just happened 2 seconds ago.

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You and the stranger both like roleplaying.
You: Hi there
Stranger: LEONARD! IVE FOUND YOU!
You: VICTORIA! I'VE SEARCHED SO LONG!
Stranger: Ive not heard from you since the war!
You: Well, you know, recovering from battle wounds and the like.. Kind of takes a while..
Stranger: Why have you not sent me a letter?
You: I sent you a letter every day for a year!
Stranger: Mother must have hid them. I knew she never liked you
You: I did my best, darling! But at least we are together again!
Stranger: Im afraid cannot stay long, my dear Leonard.
You: Don't leave me again! How will I ever find you?!
Stranger: Look up at the sky, my love. See that star? Whenever you see that star, think of me. And know that you will always be in my heart. Goodbye leonard, I will always love you...
Stranger has disconnected.


If they had stuck around, I would have recruited them.

Wait, you have Kids Layne?

Well not really but okay. Imma call you mommy!

I...I dont know. It was funny at the time.
You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hello!
You and the stranger both like Roleplaying.
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi im looking for a female 16+ for a batman batgirl role-play and is okay with being more than one character. can be sexual or not. light bondage*ropes gag etc* can change from bat girl to any other .
You: f 17 here
Stranger: Do You Want Me To Start?
You: Sure Why Not?
Stranger: *We Are Walking Through The Halls Of Arkham Asylum Looking For A Specific Inmate But i Dont Tell You*
You: *I Follow You Without Complaining Or Asking Where We Are Going*
Stranger: *We Walk For What Feals Like Hours Until We Reach The Maximum Security Section*"Sorry Barb.You Have To Stay Here For Now."
You: *I Say In A Whiny Tone* "But Why?"
Stranger: "This Area Is To Dangerous In-case Of A Breakout I Think You Can Take Care Of Yourself Here."*I Walk Through The Checkpoint An Electric Barier Going Up As I Go Through*
You: *I Make A "Hmmph" sound*
Stranger: *After About An Hour You Hear The Sudden Blare Of An Alarm And The Security Barriers Go Down*
You: *I Sigh* "Of Course This Happens. It Always Happens."
Stranger: *One Guard Comes Out Tearing At His Helmet And Screaming He Grabs You And Coughs Up Blood*
You: *I Knock Him Off Of Me And Wait For You To Return*
Stranger: *I Stumble Out Falling Onto Of You Scarecrow Behind Me Wearing A Burlap Sack With Eyeholes Cutout And A Glove Full Of Syringes*
You: *I Say In A Bored Tone* Why? WHY MUST EVERY WORD BE CAPITALIZED???
Stranger has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
are unicorns real?
You: Yes
You: They live in Scotland
You: And only in Scotland
You: Also on the Internet
You: But mostly in Scotland
You: But seriously, the unicorn is Scotland's national animal.
You: The other stranger hasn't said anything.
You: Not yet, at least.
You: I'm just going to keep typing.
You: Typing whatever pops into my head.
You: Toast.
You: I hate when things completely irrelevant pop into my head just because I said I'm going to say whatever pops into my head.
You: Maybe it wasn't totally random.
You: Maybe it popped into my head because I'm hungry.
You: I wonder when the last time I ate was.
You: It was probably a good while ago.
You: And it probably wasn't anything very substantial.
You: I wonder if the question asker is still watching.
You: Now I wonder if he/she read that and is like "Oh my god! Yes! I'm here! Here I am, right here! I haven't left you!"
You: Now I wonder if the other stranger is going to talk.
You: Or if he/she even knows what's going on.
You: Like, if any attention is being paid here at all.
You: Or maybe they're just off doing something else and is going to come back and be all "Oh shit, I forgot about this."
You: Then be all "Well, there are some messages, but I bet it's just stuff like hey you there and - WTF"
You: Lol
You: Yeah.
You: That's what's gonna happen.
You: Totally.
You: Because that's hilarious.
You: I think of funny things when I think.
You: Banana.
You: Seriously, I'm not even pausing to think.
You: I just keep typing.
You: I don't even check to see if anything else was said by the other stranger.
You: Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, this is the sound my keys make.
You: I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE
You: Okay, I'm bored.
You: Stranger, if you're there, say something.
You: If not, I'm going to disconnect.
You: Don't think I won't
You: I'm crazy enough to do it
You: You just wait and see
You: I'm going
You: And you can't stop me
You: I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH
You: Yep, here I go
You: Duh-duhduh-duhduh-duhduh
You: Out the proverbial door, here I go
You: Yep, gone forever
You: I'll do it!
You: What are you, Doctor? Coward or killer?
Stranger: oh my go
Stranger: d
Stranger: ahahahah
Stranger: dedication
You: Lmao
You: I was wondering when you'd show up
Stranger has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: howdy
Stranger: how are u
Stranger has disconnected.

too pro, just had to say one thing